


Piper's Best Laid Plans

by Moebius



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 06:43:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2803229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moebius/pseuds/Moebius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Piper has a great idea. Start a prison book club! It goes about as well as great ideas usually go in Litchfield.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Piper's Best Laid Plans

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GreenEyedCajun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenEyedCajun/gifts).



> Thanks to my writing partner/friend, Anika, for reading this and letting me know it doesn't suck. Happy Yuletide to my recipient, GreenEyedCajun!

It had been a long day for Alex, even by Litchfield standards, when Piper came into her cube, pulled the ear buds out of her ears, and announced that she had a new pet project. Alex took a minute, and a breath, so that she wouldn’t roll her eyes, then asked: “I’m sorry, you did what?”

“Started a book club.” Piper smiled in that I’m-so-proud-of-myself way Piper had. “Want in?”

Alex pushed her glasses up to her head and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “To a book club.”

It wasn’t a question, but Piper answered anyway. “Yeah.” Her proud smile faded a little. Not totally, but a little.

“In prison.” 

“Right.”

“A prison book club.”

Sighing, Piper sat down next to her on the bed and grabbed the radio she’d been listening to. “Yes, Alex. A book club in a prison would technically be called a prison book club.” She pointed at some books on Alex’s desk. “You love reading.”

“Yeah, I know, but I don’t need to talk about it with everyone in Litchfield.”

“It’s not everyone. Besides, since when are you shy? And about _books_? And knowledge? And learning?”

“Uh, okay. No, I just talk about feelings most of the fucking day, Piper, between NA and case work counseling and you, that I –“ She knew her mistake as soon as she said it. But it was too late.

“Whoa, excuse me, do I make you talk about your _feelings_ too much?” Piper’s body language had shifted from excitement to We’re Fighting Now, Sweetie in about ten seconds. “Can you handle it? Should we be emotionally closed off? Are you sure that you’re the lesbian in this relationship? Should we _process_ this?”

“Wait, are you _mad_ right now? Why are you mad right now?”

Piper threw her hands up. “Because I started a fucking book club and I want it to fucking work because my life will be a tiny bit less insane if maybe once a week I can sit in a fucking circle and talk about Nicholas Sparks.”

“So what you’re saying is you feel pretty strongly about this.” Alex couldn’t help but grin. Piper was pretty cute when she was upset over stupid things.

“Shut up, Alex.”

Alex laughed. “I’m not reading Nicholas Sparks, his stuff is bullshit.”

“Okay, fine, what do you want to read?”

“I don’t know. _Tipping the Velvet_?”

“Can you take this seriously?”

“I’m totally serious. “ Sort of. “That book won awards, right? I bet Oprah and Gail loved it.”

“Fine, don’t worry about it, I’ll start the club without you.” Piper stormed off.  
Alex shrugged and reached for her radio. That went about as well as expected.

-

Piper, however, was on a mission. A mission that brought her into the office of one Mr. Caputo, pretty much the only person who both had the power to help her start her book club and might actually listen to her.

“A book club?”

“Why is this so weird to every one? We have a library, it has books in it. People steal my books. Obviously there are people here willing to read. Why not turn it into an activity?”

Caputo finally looked over from his computer. “Who’s stealing your books?” 

“What? No, that’s not actually why I came in here.”

Leaning back in his chair, Caputo gestured in a condescending manner, which would have been more annoying if he was making eye contact instead of looking past her, at the hall way. “Okay. You want to start a book club. I hear you, but where are we going to get ten copies of the same book from?”

Piper wasn’t sure if that was a trick question or not. “A… book store?” 

“Oh sure, Chapman, I’ll just head down to Amazon and bring you ladies a pile of  
 _The Feminine Mystique_.”

“You can’t go to Amazon, Mr. Caputo, it’s not like a physical shop; you have to go online-“

“Chapman, do you want the books or what?”

“I’m confused. Are you getting me the books?”

“No!”

“But –“

“Listen,” Caputo’s tone was dismissive. “If you want to find ten copies of the latest Harlequin romance, you go out and do that.”

This was rapidly getting off track. “Okay, first off that’s probably not what we’d read. Second off, I’m kind of in prison right now, so-“

“So I guess it’s not going to happen, is it?” He waved her away. “I have a meeting.”

Ugh.  
-

Piper, not one to be dissuaded by circumstance, decided to take her idea to the people of Litchfield. Or at least as many people as were in the rec room at the moment, which was about a dozen. She walked in and coughed until everyone paid attention to her.

“You okay, Chapman?” Lorna looked up from her checkers game with Boo. “You need some water?”

“No, I want to talk to everyone about something.” There was a collective groan from the women in the room, but Piper ignored it. “I want to start a book club and Caputo, _The Man_ said no. Is it really so much to ask that we get a chance to sit down with our peers and discuss literature? Are they trying to keep us down?” In the back, someone snorted in derision. Piper ignored it. “We’re in prison, not a gulag.”

“Isn’t gulag when we’re having for lunch?” A round of chuckles from the room erupted at Flaca’s joke. Gloria scowled, and Flaca wiped the grin off her face.

Undaunted, Piper continued. “Books are what separate us from animals, they-“

“Also I have less hair on my titties than an animal does,” Taystee stroked her chest. Poussey shook her head and muttered something about Taystee having a weird obsession with her own titties. 

Piper was suddenly much more daunted than she’d been a minute ago. She slumped down in her chair. “Fine, but I’m just trying to help.”

“Blondie,” Boo offered, leaning forward. “When are you _not_ trying to help?”

-

A week later, in the TV room, Piper was flipping through a magazine, only half paying attention to whatever reality show was playing on the TV, when Nicky approached her. “Hey, Chapman. Tall dark and lesbian is starting a book club, you want in?” Nicky smirked. “The book club, not your girlfriend.”

Piper rolled her eyes, until a second later when the first part of Nicky’s sentence registered. “She’s starting a _what_?”

Taystee spoke up from her table. “Yeah, for real, books are my shit.”

Lorna raised an eyebrow. “You don’t have a copyright on books.”

“You can’t copyright books,” corrected Poussey.

“Sure you can. Jungle Book, copyright whenever. 1965?”

“Yeah, sure, in that context. The books get copyrighted, but a person doesn’t get to own having books.” As an afterthought, Poussey added: “And _The Jungle Book_ is in the public domain.”

“What?” Lorna blinked. “Why can’t I own books? I’m part of the public!”

At this point, Piper was already gone, stalking down the hall towards the Suburbs. She missed the entire shouting match that followed.

-

“Alex, you started a _book club_ , what the fuck?”

Alex had absolutely planned for this confrontation, because Alex had known Piper a really long time and this is exactly what she’d expect from Piper. She was ready. “You can’t be mad at me for not wanting to be in your book club and then be mad at me for starting a book club!”

“And yet here we are,” Piper said, her jaw tight, “with me mad at you.”

“It’s a book club, Piper, who cares who started it?” She was mentally telling herself not to roll her eyes.

“That’s not what I mean, I mean why did you say you didn’t want to join mine?”

That was an unexpected turn, so she didn’t have an answer prepped. So she told the truth. “At the time I didn’t.”

“That was a week ago, did you have some kind of major epiphany?”

Alex shrugged. “I guess?” 

Piper crossed her arms over her chest and stared down at Alex. 

“You wanted to do it, it’s not like it hurt me. And I love, you know,” Alex gestured. “Reading.”

Piper raised her eyebrows and a tiny smile started at the edge of her mouth. “Also me?”

Alex rolled her eyes, but she was grinning. This turned out better than she’d expected, and she made a mental note that maybe Piper had grown up. A little. “Yes, also you.”

“So you started the book club to apologize for being a dick about the book club?”

“When you put it that way, it sounds pretty stupid.”

“I think it’s adorable.”

“Ugh, that’s worse.”

“No seriously, you’re adorable.”

“Stop it.”

Piper leaned in and kissed her. “Stop what?”

Alex pulled her down onto the bed. She knew they had a few minutes, hopefully, until people came by. “Stop. Talking.”

For once, Piper listened.


End file.
